I've decided to stay rooted on this spot of so called indecision. When I asked myself, do I want to be gay or straight what is it? I couldn't decide and it bothered me on the insides. And then, I got it: Every time I ask that question I will not be able to answer it. I cannot like one or the other. I cannot fall in love with one or the other. Will I meet that person for forever, I hope so! But I cannot choose how it will go, and it'll always feel very wrong to try. I'm 100% proudly bi. To clarify, it feels wrong in that way it must feel if you're straight and think about being gay. Eww. A gay who shudders at "that", a lesbian who'd rather not handle certain equipments. Total yuck factor, for me it would be wrong to choose, something I am not and a lie no one should be forced to live.
I do believe there are progressions in humanity and that enlightenment was not just one period of historical time. Intolerance however has always equaled invisibility and a fight to be seen. All canon must be re-created, facts and fables. In my opinion our country of America is the best machine for this, constantly re-drawing ley lines of legend, myth and memory to produce popularizing therefore polarized mass life forms: Barak Obama, American Idol, George Bush, iTunes. And inside the fight must continue, how many people like the gays according to "popular stats" ? See our machine keeps track of that, correlating Brokeback Mountain jokes with an increase in scores, and sad slight upticks in Bill O'Reilly and downticks in Al Gore. We all have to keep fighting at the same time, Each Other Them Us, not a destructive force but with a firm, challenging cunning that is ready to refresh memories. Like perhaps never before, we must know that there are people right behind, never spoken and still not ready to emerge.
